Whose life is it anyway?

Well February is only half way through and my life has returned to what it was last year. I have no free time to do what I want to do (whatever that may be). My brother and sister in law came to visit over the weekend; no worries there they are good company and I like having them over. However next weekend is the scheduled parachute jump for D so there will be a housefull again next weekend. The weekend after that my Father in law is coming down.

Don't get me wrong I love all of my family and I love having them stay but at this time of year the only free time I have thats in the daylight is at weekends. We have committed to changing the garden and this is the best time of year for moving trees and shrubs. I havent even sowed seeds yet. Of course my wife enjoys visitors coming to stay as it gives her someone other than me to talk to. What makes things worse is that we havn't invited anyone over, they've just decided to turn up. This is fair enough I supose, we've always had an open house, but I feel as though I am not in control of my own life. I also know that it will be my fault when the planned garden doesn't appear on time. My sister in law suggested that J and I should go up to her for a week sometime in the next month or so. J readily agreed, forgetting that we promised her father a holiday on a narrow boat sometime in the first half of this year AND that I was going to take a week off work to rebuild our kitchen. As I have only 8 days holiday left until July I don't know how we can fulfil our committments.

This reads as a petty complaint but I feel that control of one's life is important. My daughter in law is having a crisis of confidence at the moment for just the same reason - lack of control. My problems are slight compered to those of my son and daughter. He is still at the early stages of recovery but seems to be happy in a sort of child-like way; she looks anxious and aggitated most of the time. This is only what I have observed as neither of them has spoken to me in any depth for a while. I don't mind that so much as I can catch up with my daughter's worries via her own blog. Although the thought of her taking advice from, at best, anonymous strangers and, at worst, voyeurs of anguish worries me a little. On the one hand written advice is or can be precise and accurate but on the other hand personal advice can be more powerful and direct and theres always a hand to hold. Perhaps the situation that they're in is too overwhelming for them. Perhaps they are uncomfortable in sharing too much. I don't know. I may never know. As a parent I will always have concerns about my children but they are all adults now and must live their lives their way. I don't preach to them or demand that they do things in certain way. I can give advice if asked but at the end of the day I trust them to get on with things themselves. I was never a control freak with my children but since they became adults I have transitioned into a friendly father figure rather than an actual father. If my suport role is to be relgated to the background thats fine but it would be nice if someone told me that.

I'm off to Cardif via Oxford tonight for my monthly trip to my Welsh customers. I enjoy the traveling but the arrival in Cardiff less so. If the weather holds it could be a good trip. It would be even better if I just jumped in the car and drove off to nowhere in particular...