Dance with the Wolves

Location: St Annes, Lancashire, United Kingdom

I'm happy. I'm amused by life. I know who I am and why I'm here. I have a masters degree and very little money.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Happiness 1

More in a box..


and thats that I've had enough of that tune. Main post below.

Happiness. I’ve done a little research, and it has been a little, which is why the posts here have been a little lightweight recently.

I suppose that to describe happiness will be a subjective thing, that is to say its experienced differently by each one of us so this is a personal view. So lets start at the beginning. Now this is going to read like pretentious twaddle but it made me chuckle.

There is an island, a very beautiful island. On the island there is a cave quite near the shore. In the cave it is dark and warm and, all things considered, a really pleasant place to be. Sometimes it is very wet in the cave and other times its merely damp. Like the shore outside the cave gets wet and then dries out a little. There is no one in the cave.

At the back of the cave there is a small hole and as if by magic a small ball pops out this hole just as the cave starts to get wet. This happens just about every time the cave gets wet. And every time the cave gets too wet the little ball is washed out of the cave, down a small stream onto the beach where is swept away never to be seen again. Once the ball has gone the cave begins to dry up.

Now and again there is a storm out at sea and waves crash onto the beach. Sometimes waves reach the cave and sea water gets in. When this happens any creatures in the sea water are washed into the cave. Normally these tiny eel like creatures find their way out of the cave or die in there; their bodies absorbed by the processes of nature.

Once in a while there is a storm outside the cave which happens when the small ball is sitting in the cave. When this happens and a wave enters the cave carrying the eel like creatures a strange thing happens. The creatures try to eat the ball even though it is much bigger than they are. While the tiny eels are biting at the outer shell of the ball it can happen that one of the eels bites through and swims inside the ball and then a really odd thing happens the ball goes hard and no other eels can bite through the skin of the ball.

The eel inside the ball is very comfortable and he stays there quite still and happy. Outside the ball the cave gets wetter but the ball doesn’t get washed away. Its as if the cave wants the ball to stay. The eels that didn’t get into the ball die and are absorbed as before. The little hard ball is washed to the wall of the cave a lodges there.

The ball stays in the cave stuck to the cave wall for a long time. And quite suddenly someone realises that they are in the cave. It is nice and warm in there and comfortable. They can hear what’s going on outside the cave but they don’t understand any of the sounds apart from one particular sound that seems to be there most of the time. It’s a pleasant sound. The person doesn’t understand the noise but it is not afraid of that sound.

Now the person is still a little person and, as little persons do, it grows. Over time the little person gets bigger and bigger. In what seems like no time at all the little person knows that it can reach all of the cave walls and is happy to reach out and touch those walls. Eventually the person is so big that there is not enough room in the cave and the person can feel the walls of the cave very easily. One day there is a storm a storm bigger than any the cave has seen for a long time. There have been smaller storms but sea water has not reached the cave and there have been no more eels. This great storm makes the whole cave shudder and the walls of the cave close around the person who begins to be worried. The noise gets louder and the sound the person knows so well sounds different and is disturbing making the person in the cave sadder.

Very soon the person in the cave feels uncomfortable as the cave walls close in more and more. The person doesn’t understand what is happening and is now afraid. The wall of the cave stretches and opens over the top of the person’s head the person feels cold for the first time. Events speed up and soon the person is being squeezed out of the cave mouth and into bright lights and cold air. There is lots of noise and a stabbing pain makes the person scream. The person could not be more confused, terrified or unhappy.

Now that childlike story which I’ve just made up after some very interesting reading is just my way of describing how it begins, how we have no choice about being here. And that is how unhappiness begins; as we are born in trauma not knowing what we are. The unhappiness following birth is temporary, we get over it. From that point in time we are all on a journey that has the potential to be both happy and unhappy in unequal measures. Circumstances can go from good to great or bad to worse. It all starts with childhood.

This is beginning to sound like psychology – I hate psychology.

And now some rock with a capital R. This is so full of cliches its fun. Stay happy.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Warm Hands!


I don't have warm hands today. They're colder than a witches chesty part. We've had 80 mile an hour winds gusting to 90 mph. Today was also recylced refuse day. A bad combination. All over town there were empty food tins, plastic bottles and paper of every sort blowing around. There were dead weelie bins everywhere; some on the move at quite a reasonable speed, others lying in the road or on the pavement like dead daleks (old geek reference). There is rain forecast too. Its going to be a good night to stay in. Hope my daughter's waters don't break!!

Friday, January 12, 2007

What an adventure

 I've been trying to update for the last week or so but I've been unable to log in. If I wasn't such a geek I might have given up. But here I am (I was lucky enough to have an email with a link that worked. Its been like this since I went over to the new blogger. Just goes to show new is not always better. Its been a frustrating week. I've thought of lots of things to write but each idea has leached away when I couldn't get access to blogger. Not to worry I always think of something. At the end of last year I thought a bit of a change was in order. This blog is a little bit pointless as its only read by a very small, but select, group of people. I’m beginning to feel a little bored with writing about myself and my life. I’m not a natural diarist but a lot of the things I’ve written have been intended to help members of my family who, for one reason or another, haven’t been as happy as they might be. I titled this blog “Dance with Wolves” for two reasons: I had just seen the movie of the same name and I admired the “character” of the main character, if you see what I mean, and I also thought that the title summed up our collective experience of day to day life. There are a lot of “wolves” out there whose sole purpose is to make us upset, sad or angry (even suicidal). The wolves can be anything. Financial problems, marital problems, health problems – I’ve certainly written a lot about all three. There are many others things that can cause unhappiness; other people, institutions, age, attitudes, discriminations, etc the list is potentially endless.

I know what makes me happy and helps me dance with the wolves in my life but I’m interested in how other people cope with life. So I’ll be doing a bit of research and a bit of writing, with a little ranting here and there, – if I can access blogger!
The following is a frivolous piece of advice on relationships from America aimed
 at geeks.

Why do we look to the USA so much?