It’s the 10th of January and last night was my first night in 2006 without a drink. Its not that I wanted to stop drinking. I was getting pains in the stomach area which I assume was my pancreas complaining at the continued abuse by food and drink. I will now be dry until the weekend when my second son comes back for the weekend.
He will be trying his 3rd attempt at a parachute jump in aid of his favourite MS charity although the weather forecast this morning was for rain at the weekend. So we’ll see.
The last attempt was foiled by low cloud and we spent most of the day in a pub, a very nice pub with a log fire and good food. It was so good that I vowed to do it more often this year; as long as the bad weather lasts.
My eldest son has had his medication changed and certainly looks happier and healthier. I think that it is too soon for him to be showing early signs of recovery but I continue to be hopeful. He has been so unhappy for such a long time. It may take some time for him to recover fully. I am very keen to help but I know from my own experience that depression can only be conquered by the depressed person themselves. As part of his Christmas presents I offered him a weekend away anywhere in Europe alone or accompanied and he has decided to go to Amsterdam with his wife. I will happily baby sit the grandchildren if the trip away helps him recover in any way.
I attended the funeral of my son in law’s father today. The weather was certainly appropriate. It rained steadily until lunchtime and with a reasonably strong wind blowing it was a sombre, but dignified, occasion. I was moved by the words of the departed's best friend who spoke from from the heart. The full effect of his father’s death was evident in my poor son in law. At 23 he is too young for all this. His father was only 49 years old. It was only the second funeral that I have attended but I have attended some cremations (too many really). There is an element of magic in a cremation as the loved one just disappears however a funeral is a very definite final act. I found it to be very moving and perhaps more importantly it reaffirmed my personal views on the value of life. I was reminded of a line from a Buddhist text that I first read 30 years ago “…swiftly the body passes away; in a moment life is gone…” the words were part of an exaltation to the study of enlightenment. I now view them as encouragement to recognise what is important to you and spend your time and energy there. I am wiser for having attended the funeral; I remain focussed in the present.
I’m still listening to the Afro Celts as I can’t get into the room where the hi-fi (and all my LPs and CDs) is located. My Daughter and son in law are still sleeping on the sofa bed in there. Still the music is bright and exciting and full of life.